Can't Versus Won't

If you want to empower your life, one of the things you can do is look at the words you use. Words have power and they impact our thoughts and feelings. That old nursery rhyme we were taught about sticks and stones breaking our bones but names not hurting us is nonsense. A simple example of the power and emotions associated with words involves replacing the word can’t with the word won’t.

Using the word can’t seems to make people believe they are absolved from taking responsibility for their actions. For example, I often hear people say things like, “I can’t stop thinking about her,” or “I just can’t control my appetite.” It is more accurate and more empowering to say, “I won’t stop thinking about her,” and “I won’t control my appetite.”

The new wording tells us that we are in control and at choice. Being in control and at choice comes with responsibility. I believe that is what people are running from when they use the word can’t. Want to put words to work for you and have a better life? Try replacing can’t with won’t. Then, if you won’t do something at least you know you are making a choice and you can take responsibility for that choice. Continuing to think in terms of won't versus can't may also lead to you finding that you can change if you want to since now you know you it is your decision and you are not powerless.